Making the morning rounds.

• Hokie Hokie hurt. Virginia Tech linebacker Bruce Taylor — a 2010 All-ACC pick currently leading the Hokies in tackles for the second consecutive season — will undergo season-ending foot surgery next week, making him the third defensive starter ruled out for the year since opening day. Tech was already playing without defensive linemen Antoine Hopkins and Kwamaine Battle (both victims of knee injuries) and linebacker Jeron Gouveia-Winslow (foot), and played last week without All-ACC cornerback Jayron Hosley. Taylor’s replacement, former starter Barquell Rivers, has played just a few dozen plays this year due to injury himself. In all, the Hokie D could be traveling to Duke Saturday with five opening-day starters on the sideline.

“I can’t remember” a more injury-plagued season, said coach Frank Beamer, in his 25th year as Tech’s head coach, “but I think it’s just the way it goes. Some seasons you get to play with the same guy every week and that just isn’t the case for us.” [Associated Press, Washington Post]

• Seeking a second opinion from Dr. Kiper. Injured Arizona State cornerback Omar Bolden, a 2010 All-Pac-10 pick who was ruled out for the year with an ACL tear in the spring, tweeted Monday that he’s been cleared by a doctor to return “from a medical standpoint,” but also added, “I won’t play unless I’m just as effective as I was 6 months ago. … Refuse to damage stock!” Bolden returned to non-contact drills last week, but didn’t want to put a timetable on a possible return, according to the Arizona Republic, because “he doesn’t want to disappoint himself or fans if he doesn’t meet it.” [@Os_Island_TS]

In other injury news… Northwestern quarterback Dan Persa is listed as “questionable” again, this time for the Wildcats’ trip to Indiana. … Alabama offensive lineman Cyrus Kouandijo, one of the most hyped freshmen at any position in the 2011 recruiting class, is undergoing season-ending surgery to repair a “pretty significant knee injury.” [al.com] … South Florida loses starters at wide receiver and cornerback for the rest of the regular to a fractured ankle and ACL tear, respectively. [@CoachHoltzUSF] … And Florida, mercifully, expects senior quarterback John Brantley to play Saturday against Georgia for the first time in nearly a month, relieving the offense of the ongoing growing pains of freshmen Jacoby Brissett and Jeff Driskel. [Orlando Sentinel]

• Mo money, mo problems. More than 300 current college football and men’s basketball players from Arizona, Georgia Tech, Kentucky, Purdue and UCLA have signed a petition asking the NCAA to “realize its mission to educate and protect us with integrity” by giving players an unspecified cut of ever-ballooning revenues. “I really want to voice my opinions,” said Georgia Tech defensive end Denzel McCoy, a redshirt freshman who led 54 other Yellow Jacket players in signing the petition. “The things we go through, the hours we put in, what our bodies go through, we deserve some sort of (results). College football is a billion-dollar industry.”

The petition by current players — a first — joins ongoing lawsuits by former players demanding to be compensated for use of their image in commercial products, among other rights that are standard in every walk of American life not governed by the NCAA. The next item on the agenda, according to perennial NCAA critic Dan Wetzel: A player boycott of minor bowl games. [Associated Press, Yahoo! Sports]

• Berry back in police sights. Ohio State running back Jaamal Berry has been named as a suspect — but not charged — in an assault against a 21-year-old non-student who was allegedly “struck in the face with a closed fist” during an altercation last Friday, according to a campus police report. The victim told police that Berry started yelling “vulgar remarks” at him after he was hit by a car, and proceeded to cross the street and punch both the victim and a friend. Berry was later identified by a witness and by the victim, who confirmed Berry’s identity when he was shown a photo; athletic director Gene Smith said the department is aware Berry may have been involved in an altercation.

The incident is the second alleged assault involving Berry in less than a month, following a bizarre case in which he reportedly attacked another student in a state of unexplained delirium last month. [The Lantern]

Quickly… Washington State‘s student paper calls for Paul Wulff to be fired. … Mysterious vandals target Texas’ campus in Austin. … The Big Ten take on the “Oversigning Bowl.” … Will Muschamp laments “a lot of wasted ink” on the fact that he played at Georgia, whatever “ink” is. … The Knight Commission: Still probin’ after all these years. … And Missouri is still technically a member of the Big 12, but its chancellor wishes the conference “the best, and all of that.”

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Houston 63, Marshall 28.
Marshall defenders said they wanted to find out who Houston’s backup quarterback was, presumably by knocking starter Case Keenum out of the game.

Well, Marshall did meet Cougars’ backup Cotton Turner, but only after Keenum had his way with the Thundering Herd completing 24-of-28 passes for 376 yards and six touchdowns in a 63-28 win.

To add insult to injury, Keenum also set the NCAA career total offense mark formerly held by Hawaii‘s Timmy Chang. His total now sounds at 16,910 yards since 2007, and counting.

Earlier in the week, the Huntington Herald-Dispatch ran a story quoting Marshall players who said their goal was to get Keenum out of the game early by injuring him in some way.

“As a defense, that’s our key to the game,” Marshall nose tackle Delvin Johnson told the paper. “We try to kill the head of the snake every game. Putting out the quarterback is a real big deal for us.”

Keenum and the Cougars appeared to take those comments personally as they orchestrated one of the most efficient games of the season. Not only was Keenum not sacked and didn’t commit a turnover, the Cougars managed 63 points on just 57 plays in 17 minutes and 42 seconds of possession.

Houston‘s 621 yards of total offense is the most the Thundering Herd have allowed at least since 2000 and only the second time they allowed more than 600 (Virginia Tech rolled up 605 in 2009) in that span.

Marshall had every reason to feel confident coming into the game. It had knocked at least four quarterbacks briefly out of games this season and ranked first nationally in tackles for loss with 9.6 per game and 32nd in sacks with 2.4. But the Herd did themselves no favors by boasting about it and more or less calling out Keenum, who ultimately had the last laugh.

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Graham Watson is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow her @Yahoo_Graham.

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East Carolina has had a rough season so far this year, but Saturday’s performance by quarterback Dominique Davis is something of which the Pirates can be proud.

Davis set two NCAA records against Navy and more importantly, earned his team a 38-35 win.

Davis completed his first 26 passes to set an NCAA record that was previously shared by Tennessee‘s Tee Martin in 1998 and Cal‘s Aaron Rodgers in 2004. Both players completed 23 in a row.

Davis also came into the game having completed his final 10 passes against Memphis last week, and his 36 total completed passes in a row also broke Rodgers’ mark of 26 consecutive passes spanning two games.

Overall, Davis completed 40-of-45 passes for 372 yards and two touchdowns. His 88.9 completion percentage is the second-highest completion percentage among passers with at least 40 completions.

While coaches and players will say it’s not about the individual performances, this is certainly one that deserves recognition.

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Graham Watson is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow her @Yahoo_Graham.

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Stephen Nelson is bitter.

The sophomore receiver from Beaverton, Ore., came to SMU hoping that the change in football culture sparked by coach June Jones and back-to-back bowl trips would have been enough to get the fans on board with a football program that has been a national doormat since repeated NCAA violations earned the program the “Death Penalty” in the late 1980s. So far, it sounds like he’s has been utterly disappointed.

In an op-ed for the student-run Daily Campus, Nelson calls out SMU fans, mostly the student body, for their poor showing during last week’s 38-17 win against defending Conference USA champion Central Florida:

The UCF game was a testament to how stubborn and pathetic our student body is, and how our school has completely failed to capture the attention of a city.

It wasn’t halfway through the second quarter when students began to whine about the heat and leave. I’m sorry you guys had to sit in your air conditioned homes during the summer while my teammates and I sweated in three months of 100-degree heat preparing for the season. I’m sorry a 38-17 whooping of the defending conference champs wasn’t thrilling enough for you.

Those are some harsh words for a fanbase that isn’t used to having a good football team and quite honestly, isn’t used to paying attention to SMU athletics as a whole.

The Mustangs play in the heart of a metropolis that just got done celebrating an NBA championship and is in the midst of celebrating a World Series berth for the Texas Rangers. And even though the Dallas Cowboys aren’t dominating the NFL, they always have been and always will be the biggest show in town. Even where college football is concerned, Dallas is Longhorn country, and Fort Worth-based TCU is coming off a Rose Bowl win to cap a perfect season.

Surprise: SMU football isn’t exactly a hot ticket.

Still, that has to be frustrating for Nelson and his teammates, who have earned a little attention after back-to-back bowl games — the Mustangs’ first after a 25-year drought — and five consecutive wins this year since a season-opening loss at Texas A&M:

Don’t be surprised now when I say it’s more fun for us to play on the ROAD than it is at home. At least the opposing team’s fans show up, and the game experience resembles what I dreamed about rather than the pee-wee football experience we have here where it seems only the players’ parents are in the stands.

To understand SMU’s present fan apathy means understanding its past and the turmoil the program has endured since the NCAA shut the program in 1987. Under Jones, SMU has come out of the shadow of national disgrace and actually put a product on the field that’s worth watching. Quite honestly, SMU probably has had more fan attendance in the past two years than it has had in the previous 20. It has definitely gotten more attention from the national media and its games are more readily found on national television.

While it’s easy for the players to compare their fanbase to those across the conference and be upset, it’s probably a better gauge to compare their fanbase to those for the teams over the last two decades. Then, players like young Stephen Nelson might appreciate how far SMU has actually come during the past couple years instead of complaining about how far it still has to go.

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Top photo via DFWSportsOnline.com.
Graham Watson is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow her @Yahoo_Graham.

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Making the morning rounds.

• Gentlemen, we’ve got a hot new idea that could change everything! Feast your eyes upon… Mountain West commissioner Craig Thompson is back on the playoff bandwagon, telling the Arizona Republic he plans to renew his push for a 16-team bracket he says would generate $700 million a year — more than three times the current $174 million payday under the BCS. That’s nothing new: The MWC attempted to make a case for a playoff ahead of the last round of BCS contract renewals in 2009, and brought the subject up again earlier this year. This time, though, with multiple politicians and the Department of Justice zeroing in on credible antitrust claims — as well as a full-time anti-BCS lobby that’s already helped to plunge one of the big-money bowl games into a major scandal — Thompson’s efforts might fall on more sympathetic ears.

“What we are trying to do is offer an alternative with the current system. We have not been comfortable with the current system,” Thompson said. “If you are standing still, you are falling behind. We are trying to be creative.” [Arizona Republic]

• Housing? Really? The NCAA has reinstated spectacularly named Boise State defensive lineman Ricky Tjong-A-Tjoe, a native Dutchman who missed the first six games of the season for accepting $13,600 in “improper benefits” from his host family in Boise both before and after enrolling at BSU. (He immigrated from Amsterdam while he was still in high school.) Benefits cited by the NCAA included “housing, meals, gifts, school supplies, travel, vacation, among other items,” which sounds suspiciously like Tjong-A-Tjoe was suspended for being an exchange student. In addition to the six-game suspension, the $13,600 was repaid to charity.

At any rate, he’ll be eligible to play Saturday against Air Force, along with two other Amsterdam natives, receiver Geraldo Boldewijn and safety Cedric Febis, who were suspended one day before the season opener for various misdemeanors. Febis missed one game and was forced to repay $20 — seriously — for “recruiting violations and impermissible transportation,” while Boldewijn missed four games for benefits in the $700 range, including a 1990 Toyota Camry with 177,000 miles on it. All violations are classified as “isolated and inadvertent” and almost certainly will not lead to any further penalties. [Idaho Statesman]

• I’ll be back. There’s no official word from the school, but Oregon quarterback Darron Thomas practiced in pads Wednesday, took reps with the first-team offense and fully expects to be back in the lineup Saturday against Colorado, a week after leaving the Ducks’ win over Arizona State with a knee injury in the third quarter. “I haven’t ever been uncleared or anything like that,” said Thomas when asked if he’d been cleared by doctors, in contrast to running back LaMichael James, who told reporters he’d been cleared after sitting out the ASU win with a dislocated arm. “I’m not even in the same situation as LaMichael.”

At any rate, considering the game in question is an almost certain win in Boulder, whether the Ducks’ banged-up stars can play and whether they actually will play are two completely different questions. [Eugene Register Guard]

• Low blow means no-go. Miami has suspended defensive tackle Micanor Regis for Saturday’s game against Georgia Tech in response to a groin shot Regis landed on North Carolina receiver Dwight Jones in a 30-24 Hurricane win. “Quite honestly, I’m embarrassed,” coach Al Golden said in a statement. “We expect our players to represent our program with class on and off the field, and when they do not, there are consequences.” [Associated Press]

• Notice anything different about me? This may look like just any old “Golden Dome” to you…

… but to Notre Dame coach Brian Kelly, who brought the helmet to a post-practice briefing Wednesday to show off the new color, it represents months of obsessive work:

“We finally got it right,” Kelly said. “(Athletic director) Jack (Swarbrick) and I have been frustrated with the color of the helmet and we’ve had Ryan Grooms, our equipment manager, who’s worked diligently in getting this put together.

“We feel like we’ve finally got the gold the right way. It’s not those different shades we’ve seen over the years. We’re pretty excited about it and we’ll wear it this weekend [against USC].”

After all that work, they’ve certainly come a long way. [Chicago Tribune]

Quickly… Clemson linebacker Tony Steward is out for the season with a torn ACL, the blue-chip freshman’s second in as many years. … Tom O’Brien chalks up N.C. State’s injury issues to cut blocking. … 141 fans were ejected from Autzen Stadium during Saturday’s win over Arizona State, including 11 who were cited or arrested. … Jim Tressel plans to man the replay booth for the Indianapolis Colts for the first time this Sunday. … Andrew Luck helps the Stanford hoopsters ham it up to promote the start of basketball season. … And Notre Dame’s win over Air Force on Oct. 8 was the lowest-rated Notre Dame game ever broadcast on NBC. Here’s guessing Saturday night’s visit from USC will fare slightly better.

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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In your annual reminder of the existence of Tulane football: Bob Toledo has reportedly resigned as head coach of Tulane football, effective immediately on the heels of a 44-7 loss to UTEP that marked the Green Wave’s fourth consecutive defeat and brought Toledo’s overall record in New Orleans to 15-40 in four-and-a-half years. Offensive line coach/co-offensive coordinator Mark Hutson is expected to take over as interim coach to finish the year.

With that, Toledo — better known as the last coach under whom UCLA was nationally relevant — goes out as the tenth of Tulane’s eleven head coaches over the last 60 years to leave with a losing record, a victim list that includes a young Mack Brown. (The Green Wave’s 6-6 mark in 1987 was so impressive Brown was immediately hired by down-on-its-luck North Carolina.) The only exception in that span: Tommy Bowden, who arrived with innovative offensive coordinator Rich Rodriguez in 1997, turned in what must be the most improbable undefeated season in NCAA history in 1998 and booked the first seat on the first plane to Clemson before the Liberty Bowl. The Green Wave have been to one bowl game since, in 2002, their only other winning season in the last 30 years. Average home attendance this year, officially, is a little less than 19,000 per game.

So while the timing is strange — Saturday is homecoming, against one of the few teams on the schedule that is demonstrably worse than Tulane — I am willing to believe that, yes, Bob Toledo has simply had enough of a job that has consistently consumed coaches since it decided to deemphasize athletics in the early fifties while still attempting to compete on a Division I level, and that his “resignation” is in fact a resignation.

If it isn’t, no one could blame Toledo if he pulled a Tommy West on the way out. After nearly five years, it’s obvious enough the program is going nowhere and deserves another reboot. Whether the will or resources actually exist to give it one, well, it seems they’ve had the answer to that for a long time already.

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Making the morning rounds.

• Let’s do this, part one. To no one’s surprise — least of all its current conference mates in the Big 12 — Missouri has reportedly decided to follow Texas A&M‘s lead by formally applying for membership to the SEC. The withdrawal process likely begins when the university’s board of curators meets on Thursday and Friday in Kansas City. According to one anonymous official who spoke to the New York Times, the Tigers’ departure is “inevitable and imminent”; according to another, “I’m 100 percent sure we’re going to the SEC.”

Presumably, Mizzou’s not willing to put itself out on that kind of limb without at least a wink-wink-nudge-nudge acknowledgement from the SEC that its application is likely to be accepted, thereby swelling the league’s ranks to 14 and reducing the Big 12 to just nine after TCU joins the fold next year. The Tigers allegedly had an informal SEC invite in hand last month, contingent on the pending crack-up of the Big 12, and were the only ones who refused to pledge solidarity to a slightly reformed Big 12 after an Oklahoma/Texas bid to flee to the Pac-12 fell apart for the second year in a row. There’s no question they’ll jump at the invite if it comes. But there may still be a little convincing to do in the SEC before that happens. [PowerMizzou.com, Orangebloods.com, Kansas City Star, New York Times]

• Let’s do this, part two. Elsewhere, the Big East began its march toward doubling its current size by voting to double its current exit fee for football members from $5 million to $10 million, laying the groundwork for expected invitations to Central Florida, Houston and SMU in all sports and Air Force, Boise State and Navy for football only. That may be stretching the definition of “East” past its breaking point, but at this point — on the heels of losing Pitt and Syracuse to the ACC — an existing conference is an existing conference. And if Boise State is part of that conference, its automatic BCS bid (along with the full-fledged payout that comes with it) is likely safe for the foreseeable future.

First item on the agenda: Houston, which was reportedly extended an official invitation on Monday night and will send reps to New York to seal the deal. [Associated Press, CBSSports.com, Houston Chronicle].

• . Colorado cousins Rodney Stewart and Douglas Rippy both suffered significant knee injuries in Saturday’s loss against Stanford, in Rippy’s case costing him the rest of the season with a torn ACL. Stewart, already well over 1,000 all-purpose yards for the second year in a row, is expected to miss at least four games with a sprain, possibly putting him back on the field in time to close out an underrated career against Arizona, UCLA and Utah — likely the only games remaining on the schedule the 1-6 Buffs have any realistic shot at winning. [Boulder Daily Camera]

In other injury news… N.C. State is redshirting 2010′s leading rusher, Mustafa Greene, due to a foot injury. [Raleigh News & Observer] … Iowa State has ruled out starting tailback Shontrelle Johnson for the rest of the season due to a neck injury that’s already cost him the last two games. [Associated Press] … Auburn hopes to get starting receiver Emory Blake back this weekend at LSU. [al.com] … And Utah safety Keith McGill will undergo season-ending surgery on his shoulder, forcing the Utes to move linebacker Brian Blechen — a freshman All-American last year as a safety — back to the secondary. [Salt Lake Tribune]

• In his dreams, the world is incredibly boring. Ole Miss coach Houston Nutt, now the owner of the longest SEC losing streak in school history at nine games, admitted Monday he sometimes wakes up in the middle in the night worrying about getting “a perfect week” in the midst of a slump that’s more than likely going to cost him his job. “It’s not fun,” Nutt said. “Winning is how you spell fun. You can imagine that it’s not a good feeling because you want to win. That’s all you try to do each and every Saturday, and it’s difficult.”

Nutt has also dismissed wide receiver Melvin Harris, the seventh Rebel player hit with a suspension, dismissal or season-ending injury in less than a week. [Clarion Ledger]

• Nothing to see here. Washington quarterback Keith Price is off to a fantastic start in his first season as a starter. But the U-Dub compliance would appreciate it if he watched the clichés, please:

That’s a funny, totally innocent and inconsequential slip. Mind if the NCAA takes a look at your bank statements real quick? [q13fox.com via CFT]

Quickly… North Carolina loses a starting linebacker to (altogether now) an unspecified violation of team rules. … San Diego State‘s former president says college football has reached a crisis point, and the BCS must evolve or die. … Jesse Scroggins, a preseason injury casualty, is working his way back into the mix on USC‘s quarterback depth chart. … An Oklahoma fan gets an extra sack added to Corey Nelson’s total. … Brady Hoke actually has to specify that Denard Robinson is still Michigan’s starting quarterback. … And Todd Monken called his parents to remind them to watch him get bleeped more than 20 times on national television. He hasn’t heard from them since.

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Making the morning rounds.

• All in the game. The blood and tears hadn’t even had a chance to dry in Spartan Stadium Saturday before freshly wounded Wolverine fans began flooding YouTube, Twitter and every other outlet at their disposal with complaints of thuggish play in Michigan State’s 28-14 win over Michigan, most notably a pair of personal fouls by MSU defensive end William Gholston for grabbing and twisting Denard Robinson’s facemask at the end of a play and later throwing a punch at lineman Taylor Lewan. Both were flagged, but neither was enough for Michigan players or coaches to bite when reporters gave them the opportunity to call their rivals out after the game.

Coach Brady Hoke: “I don’t know how they played dirty. They had some personal fouls on late hits on the quarterback, but you can get those all the time.” Denard Robinson: “They were playing football. It’s a dirty game.” Defensive tackle Mike Martin: “We knew what type of game this was going to be. It was going to be a tough physical game.” Safety Jordan Kovacs: “They were definitely more physical. They pounded us. They beat us up. You’ve got to give them a lot of credit.”

And from Michigan State’s perspective? It was 60 minutes of unnecessary roughness and thats what we tried to achieve,” said defensive coordinator Pat Narduzzi. “That’s what we tried to do, 60 minutes of unnecessary roughness. I’m just glad it didn’t get called every play.” [Detroit News, MGoBlue.com, Lansing State Journal]

• Talk to the hand. Investigators are running aground in the sprawling, ongoing probe into improper benefits at Miami, according to “an official close to the NCAA’s investigation,” who told the Miami Herald that it’s proving difficult to corroborate charges in Yahoo! Sports’ massive exposé because former players named in the report are refusing to cooperate. Hurricane coaches “told me there might be a little penalty,” a local recruit told the Herald, “but not as bad as some people think.” Considering that some people think “death penalty,” this may not be an entirely meaningful statement.

Meanwhile, from the same article: Suspended ‘Cane receiver Aldarius Johnson (right) continues to deny his alleged role in the scandal, but now plans to turn pro next year rather than transfer to another school for his final year of eligibility. [Miami Herald]

• On second thought… Auburn‘s starting quarterback job for this weekend’s visit to LSU is officially in the air on the heels of Saturday’s 17-6 win over Florida, in which backup Clint Moseley led the Tigers to ten fourth quarter points in place of struggling starter Barrett Trotter. “We’ll come back and evaluate it some more. [Offensive coordinator] Gus [Malzahn] and I will talk about it,” coach Gene Chizik said on Sunday. “By the next time we practice, I know what we’re going to do.”

One thing they’re not going to do: Hand the reins to true freshman Kiehl Frazier, the resident running option in “Wildcat” sets. “He’s a different entity,” Chizik said. [al.com]

• Family matters. Hyped Elk Grove (Calif.) defensive lineman Arik Armstead, a borderline five-star prospect according to Rivals, said Sunday he’s no longer committed to USC next year — at least in part because team doctors have refused to clear his brother, current Trojan Armond Armstead, even after outside doctors gave him the green light following a frightening bout of chest pains in the spring. “Obviously, [Arik] was disappointed with the way things were handled between the school and our family the last six months,” said his father, Guss Armstead. Said Arik: “I’m still looking at SC and I’m still talking to them. I love the coaches there, so I’m considering them as a possibility.” [Rivals, Orange County Register]

• Rebels down. Ole Miss, already down one senior defensive captain after linebacker D.T. Shackelford tore his ACL in the spring, will play the rest of the season without two others now that cornerback Marcus Temple and defensive end Wayne Dorsey have been ruled out for the rest of the year due to ankle and arm injuries, respectively. Dorsey currently leads the Rebels in sacks and tackles for loss; Temple is second on the team with two interceptions. Both careers are over. “Two really good players and two captains that have done a lot for us,” said coach Houston Nutt. [Clarion-Ledger]

Quickly… Oregon State loses defensive tackle Castro Masaniai for the year to a broken fibula. … Mark Richt says the post-game confrontation between Georgia and Vanderbilt coaches has been addressed. … Lane Kiffin says last year’s loss to Notre Dame was the “worst loss that I’ve been a part of ever.” … Skip Holtz is not happy with the officials in South Florida’s loss to UConn. … Washington re-enters the polls, and is immediately tabbed as a 20-point underdog. … Several dozen people were ejected from Wisconsin’s win over Indiana, including 17 arrests. … A long look at the diverse cultures of Missouri as it postures for a move to the SEC. … One last nod to the best gif of the weekend. … And Southern Miss has won over a Brazilian superfan, which is cool. But maybe lose the Thunderstix?

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Matt Hinton is on Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Ohio State 17, Illinois 7.
Somewhere, Jim Tressel is sitting in the dark, drinking a bottle of reasonably priced cabernet and listening to Shostakovich with his eyes closed. He wants to savor this: In his absence, arguably the most Tresselian triumph of them all.

Total yards for Ohio State‘s offense: 224. Punts: Seven, including one from the opposing 31-yard line. Three-and-outs: Five. Completed passes: One. Victory: Total.

Not that OSU is relieved of any of the angst that defined the first half of its season. After last week’s come-from-ahead loss at Nebraska, the one and only hope for Buckeyes’ woebegone offense seemed to be freshman quarterback Braxton Miller, leader of an improbable 27-point run in Lincoln before being forced out with a bum ankle in the third quarter. After today, it looks like it’s back to hopelessness. Miller dropped back to pass roughly a dozen times in Champaign, and was sacked on four of them. He scrambled on approximately four more. Of the four passes that actually left his hand, three fell incomplete.

His lone completion of the afternoon: A 17-yard touchdown pass to tight end Jake Stoneburner, immediately following an Illinois fumble that set the Buckeyes up at the Illini 22-yard line in the third quarter.

The Buckeyes’ only other touchdown came on a 12-yard run at the start of the third quarter by Dan “Boom” Herron — fresh from an NCAA-mandated six-game suspension — set up by an interception on the previous play. And that, fans, is how a 3-3 team whose freshman quarterback almost literally cannot complete a pass managed to upset a 6-0 team on the road, and salvage some vague sense of purpose for the rest of the season: Defense, turnovers and field position. Viva Tresselball.

If it gets them a tough road win that pushes them back over .500, you know, a win is a win. As a template for the rest of the season, well, it would still be nice to be able to complete a few passes by the time Wisconsin comes thundering in in two weeks, just to keep it respectable. After that, a defense, a punter and the ability to not throw the ball to the other team may carry Ohio State through the finish line yet: Indiana and Purdue should be automatic outs for bowl eligibility, and no one plays bite-and-hold with more enthusiasm than Penn State. Which leaves… Michigan, possibly with a winning record on the line.

With their first conference win and the Wolverines’ hard fall today in East Lansing, the Buckeyes have to feel better about that trip than it has in a month. Now: With their fate tied inexorably to Braxton Miller’s sore ankle, will it still feel that way in another month?

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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Wisconsin 59, Indiana 7. Eric Crouch did it. Cam Newton did it. Even Andrew Luck did it, just two weeks ago. And now Russell Wilson has done it, too, adding the inveitable “Is there anything this guy can’t do?” moment to his Heisman highlight reel on a 25-yard touchdown catch from Montee Ball in Wisconsin’s 59-7 obliteration of Indiana. Not to nitpick, Hoosiers — we know you’re giving it your best — but there wasn’t anything you could’ve done to increase the degree of difficulty there? I dunno, have a guy on the screen in Wilson’s vicinity, perhaps? No?

Anyway, the IU defense didn’t do anything to slow Wilson down in his day job, either, where he was 12 of 18 passing for 167 yards and a touchdown pass of his own, along with a couple nice runs totaling 42 yards — well below his season averages, but still good enough to keep his NCAA-best pass efficiency rating above 200 into the second half of the season. For his part, Ball rolled to 141 yards and three touchdowns on just 14 carries, the last a 54-yard sprint in the third quarter for the Badgers’ only offensive touchdown of the second half. Everything else came on six consecutive drives in the first half and touchdowns on both defense and special teams after the break — exactly what you’d expect from an undefeated national contender hosting a 40-point underdog.

On the bright side for Indiana: All in all, it was a dramatic improvement over last year. Sometimes, a 52-point loss is what progress looks like.

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Matt Hinton is on Facebook and Twitter: Follow him @DrSaturday.

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